Hockey Goalkeeper Mikayla Demaiter Continues Path Of Destruction, Ace Ventura-Themed F1 Helmet And Historic Koufax Jersey Auction – OutKick


Opening day is cancelled, but there’s a football game in its place and it’s just another Saturday around here.

This is an abridged screenshot from Saturday because it’s one of those days when there’s an early football game and I have a million things to do now that it’s stopped raining and the sun is out. Seriously, it stopped raining. As I type, the sun shines on the right side of my face and it’s not even 8 am. I can’t remember the last time this happened and it feels so good.

Before I go any further, I need to tell you about my Friday night at Elementary Family Fun Night. I volunteered to work at the ticket counter which is at the entrance. I was in charge of snatching tickets while a lady took the money. It was the hardest hour of volunteer work I’ve had in at least a decade.

Do you know what it’s like to have a father of four come in and buy 80 tickets and empty my stock of 10 tickets? Seriously deflate. But it just forced me to focus and start tearing off strands of 10 bills faster, harder, faster, more bills. After. After.

And then there was drama over the $5 inflatable wristbands being useless due to 40 mph winds nullifying the inflatables. And then there were the people who wanted $8 in tickets while handing over $10 to the cashier. JUST INFLATE THE $10… IT’S ON THE PARENTS’ ORGANIZATION TO DO THINGS FOR THE CHILDREN!

Volunteering for a family night filled with games like Plinko, Duck Races, Inflatable Basketball, Darts and Balloon Animals was certainly an eye opener to deal with the public, but I’m glad I helped.


  1. It was absolutely packed way beyond the fill level in 2019 on the last family night. On the face of it, there was a pent up demand for an evening of family fun since COVID came to town.
  2. We saw maskless people who we swore would never be in such an environment let alone without a mask. Maybe all that COVID mental stuff is easing a bit.
  3. I was kicked out of the raffle prize department. This was a big disappointment, as we’re talking high-end suburban elite raffle prize packs.
  4. The Middle Eastern taco food truck, Baba’s Eats, pumped out the best food I’ve had in this town all year. I’ll be chasing this food truck around town all summer.
  5. It almost brought tears to our eyes to see our excited 5 year old jumping down the school hallway realizing that he will be going to this school in the fall. You’re damn right, I was crying thinking I was done paying for preschool all day. This house payment is about to go off the books.

My next volunteer assignment is the next school field day.


• Some say my dad is Greg Norman. I do not see it.

It’s officially morel season here in Ohio and the fertile soil of northern Michigan won’t be too far away, especially with temperatures in Gaylord, MI expected to hit 88 this week. Go get your hands on those pigs!

According to the latest prices from Northwest Wild Foods, 4 lbs. of morels will cost around $190 this season. I can’t remember the price per pound here, but I think it was around $50/lb. range the last time I was in our local market.

It’s the time of the year

• Paul B. writes:

Joe…are we under siege?


Stay the course, guys. It’s that time of year when you get called a bee killer, an enemy of Mother Nature, an asshole because you don’t think about the planet, blah, blah, blah. It’s going to be 2-3 weeks before all the pain in the ass runs out and those of us who care for our little piece of the planet get on with our lives.

Have you ever noticed that bee saviors never go after China for the absolute mud it pumps into the atmosphere? Hey assholes, go protest at the Chinese consulate. Call them enemies of Mother Nature. Target them with Facebook posts, you freaks. They’re clearly doing more for the planet than Keith in Wisconsin who pulled down a row of wildflowers for a concrete patio project.

Nebraska beer

• After that elementary school volunteer assignment, I came home and went to the man cave to watch golf and hockey and suck on two of the Zipline Brewing Co. Dear Old Nebraska beers that Bill L. sent to me this week.

I’m not just saying this because Bill sent them – these beers are seriously crushable. It’s no wonder they’re the official beer of Nebraska alumni, because it’s a lager that doesn’t disappoint. I’ve been to one Nebraska game in my life (2008) and it was with my buddy whose cousin, Tim Hiller, who used his schooling to own Chick Fil A, was heading west Michigan. We parked and walked about 50 yards before a group of hookers invited us to their party in front of an old warehouse.

We hit the shooting ski and learned all about Nebraska and stayed until kickoff. It was a great Saturday.

I would definitely leave the Nebraska Brew in my summer patio beer rotation. It’s quite an honour.

And with that, the sun and the fresh air are calling my name. Have a great day at those soccer games, on the baseball diamonds and wherever the roads take you across this great country.

Take care.

Email: [email protected]

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The stuff you sent and the stuff I like:


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